0 Sexiness implied please.

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Bestie and I were watching the Easter Criminal Minds marathon on Bravo this past weekend and remarked on the marked improvement in Shemar Moore's acting skills. No doubt he is a fine brotha, but I remember seeing him on The Young and The Restless as the handsome Malcolm Winters and watching him act being sexy instead of just being it. He's got it down now (thank you sir!) and we praise the powers that be!

On Soul Train he was a little intolerable. He had been infected by the lip licking disease (LLD) that is passed on from one black man to another simply by watching LL Cool J do his lip routine. Jamie Foxx, Nelly, Chris Brown and a host of other black male Hollywoodans seem to be infected with LLD. I'm not sure when this started, but can it please stop?

You meet a brother, he's cool and what not, you talk and he is interesting, you dance, he's got the moves and then suddenly you get hit with,

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Boy, no.

When did this become sexy? I know we see pictures of all these lips online with copious amounts of lip gloss on them but they are WOMEN'S lips. Are you still trying to get the bit of burger that has been hanging off your lips since you left Mickey Dees? Are you hiding a zit or mouth sore? Is it radar and you're trying to sense if we're compatible? What the hell are you doing?

Maybe some women find it to be sexy, but honestly, at Qalil this is what comes to mind.

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and

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Granted, the second picture might be cute, but we're still not thinking about letting that tongue down our throats. Okay?

So quit with the lip smacking. If your eyes cannot convey what you want to tell me, your slippery ass tongue isn't going to do the trick. LLD is NOT cool.

Are you turned on by guys who like smacking their lips? Do you have a case of the LLD?

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0 Marriage is dead

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I'm killing marriage y'all!

I'd like to have a discussion with you and talk about this antiquated institution we call marriage and why we are failing to allow it to evolve as human beings evolve.

In the not too distant past a man noticed a woman who he felt attracted to. He told his father and/or his mother who then researched the ancestry of the proposed woman and the process of requesting the woman's hand in marriage was initiated.

Often times the woman did not have a choice and once the marriage was sealed she was shipped off to go live with the man and bear his children. In those times men could not change their minds once the process had begun. If, after the marriage had happened, the man could not find enough love or respect in his heart for his wife, then he would either take a mistress or just bear his loveless childless marriage in a martyr-like trance till the day he died, busying himself with his business affairs or sports.

Before that in certain cultures, men would take multiples wives - who would just be happy to be married - bearing many children for the homestead to increase the wealth of the family and increase their workforce for the farm.

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However, something changed. Suddenly it became important for two people who decided to enter into a marriage contract to be IN LOVE. The vows that they spoke in front of a religious leader and their families were proclamations of love. Even if love faded, they were expected to carry out the marriage to the bitter end.

Then something else changed and now people join in marriage and remove themselves from situations with regular alacrity, either rejoicing in their newfound freedom or regretting the years they spent believing that their marriage was going to last.

This leaves a great number of children stuck with the idea that their family has been torn apart, they're being raised in broken homes, perpetuating the myth that children raised in single parent (or other forms) homes are at a disadvantage right off the bat.

We still cling to the old notions of marriage and raising children. One man, one woman and a couple (or hoarde) of kids make a family. No other person is responsible for teaching the child, providing moments of discipline, creating teaching moments or rejoicing with them. But with the divorce rate so high and the varying options available to us now, isn't it time we started thinking differently?

Our indignation and frustration with ever rising numbers of "single parent homes" is not in line with the freedom we have given adults to find their way to happiness. Our adherence to parenting being limited to biological parents or step-parents limits the possibility that a child can learn valuable lessons from a neighbor, aunt or teacher.

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The perfect home paradigm - one man, one woman, united in marriage till death, arising in children belonging to both of them - needs to be abandoned. I believe that it is time for us to allow marriage to be something else, temporary contracts between consenting adults who, if they choose to raise children, will engage in partnerships (outlined in the previously mentioned contract) that will allow children to become positively contributing members in society.

There are many options available. Co-parenting options, divorce and custody agreements, unusual marriage contracts. I'm sure we can come up with unlimited numbers.

Something to think about: I have never met a single person, who having had the advantage of multiple parental figures (whether they be biological or otherwise) existing in a cordial environment, found that to be detrimental to their lives.

Do you think we can change our minds about marriage?

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0 The End of Marriage

No matter how far back one looks into history, the story of the "Strong Black Woman" is enduring. She gathers her children as well as other disenfranchised children into her large bosom, feeding them with good food and giving them comfort. She holds a gun to ward off predators, sows clothing and in the 21st century, she does all this while holding a briefcase.

Is it possible that this image could be wrong?

Many people have argued that the "Strong Black Woman" phenomenon is the main reason for divorce numbers in black marriages. She doesn't need a man and will not work hard enough on her marriage to make it what it needs to be.

Other arguments on the interwebs claim that the lessons of hard work towards a strong marriage are not being passed on to children.

Can the black woman be blamed for the end of black marriages because she is too strong?

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