0 The Game Recap: Episode 409

"Whip It, Whip It Good"

Hooray! We're back for another recap of EVERYONES favorite show (even the ones who don't yet know that it is their fave show of all time :-) ).

The show starts off with Jason and Malik out to lunch at everyone's favorite outdoor restaurant. Malik asks Jason how Brittany is doing and with the awkwardness of most men, when faced with women-issue words, explains that she's home from school coz she has .....

wierd hand gesture...
"Her period?" Malik says it out loud knowing it would embarrass Jason. Say it Jason! Say it!!!!

Malik shows Jason something that surprises no one but him.

Oh SNAP! Like Malik we all follow Jason to the table to watch a BEAT DOWN! Give it to her Jason!!!

Turns out the only thing Jason is concerned about is whether she ordered the house flat. She lies, but he is satisfied. Again, like Malik, we're not!

Oooooooooo!

A little later on, we find Mel, cutting up a storm in her kitchen veggies flying every which way and Tasha staying respectfully out of reach. I thought in the earlier seasons there was the suggestion that Mel could not cook... maybe it was because of med school or maybe she now had time to learn from Wolfgang Puck BUT I'm still not instilled with much hope.

Tasha, whose itchy weave is giving her a difficult time, probably walked over from her house to kill a few minutes while her hairdresser got there.

A knock on the door reveals Jason, the Brat and the guest star of the episode, Magic Johnson!

Towering above Melanie (he looks twice her height!) he proceeds to a generously offered bowl of grapes and plomps on the couch.

Jason is here to pawn Brittany off on Mel so he can go enjoy golf with Magic J and Tiger (yeah, not Woods apparently). Mel can't do it. Her parents will be there soon and with a complicated series of hand gestures tells Jason to ask Tasha.

We all know how good this is going to be. They never really got along.

Tasha milks it for all she is worth, celebrating when she sees "lemon head's" distress.

Lil' fast girl (thanks Magic) gives Tasha some sass, which backfires and Tasha takes Brittany home with her.

Over at Tasha's house the "training" starts with a few bumps in the road, but after Tasha's hair is done, it seems that Brittany is quite contrite and behaving properly.

Yeah, right! I cannot believe I actually was buying her whole reformed story. Turns out she's got sticky fingers too. She took Tasha's prescription weed and threw Tasha into a switch wielding frenzy. Brittany hides out in the bathroom and Jason comes to rescue his daughter. He calls Tasha irresponsible, defends Brittany and whisks her home.

At home, Jason tries to talk to Brittany, who is too busy to listen and texting on her phone. She's in a huge rush to get out of the house when Jason does something I know I wasn't expecting.

Let go of my purse!

Yeah! Lil' fast girl is in trouble now! You'd think she would be contrite but when she acts a fool, Jason throws her skanky clothes to ground and quits his job so he can strap her to his side. Her second miscalculation of the day!

Back at the Davis household, Mel is throwing herself into a tizzy excited about her parents arrival. Aren't you excited Derwin?!

Yeah, I thought so.

Melanie's parents arrive and they have FLIPPED the script so much that Derwin is totally thrown off track. But he settles very nicely into the evening with his in-laws fawning over him and all his moolah. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be as interested in Mel's life. When her dad stands up to do the Derwin dance (have we seen it?) Mel erupts and goes upstairs.

Well that was awkward.

She comes down later to talk to her mom and explain her reason for not pursuing medicine. I believe in my man (tear tear, sniff sniff). Somehow the small phrase "our family" gets misinterpreted by her mom, who thinks Mel is pregnant and spreads the good news to dad and a very confused Derwin.

What?!

 Don't you dare take this away from me DERwin! Ummmm... we're backing off too!

Now all would be said and done, but you know it's not quite over. Malik is watching his maid bowl promising to bring all her kids from Guatemala when suddenly in walks Tasha. Wait! What is that in her hand?

What's that for?

Aw, hell no!

 Run Malik! RUN!

Well, she did say someone was going to get the switch today!

Fun episode. It was great to see Jason stepping up as a dad. No matter what his shortcomings may be, this show of fatherly force is something every girl with a dad in her life appreciates! It is always good to see Derwin interact with Mel's parents, although the desperate-housewife-of-San-Diego thing Mel is doing is such a downer. Bligh.

The last scene was BRILLIANT and summed up my feelings of the episode.

Pass this around! Tell me what you thought of it!

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0 The Game Recap: Episode 408

A Very Special Episode

Welcome back fans! Wooo! What an episode!

We start off at the Mo'Nique show where Malik is being interviewed. He is quite emotional in the beginning, issuing apologies to the popo who tazed him.

He's repentant (for real we hope) and almost in tears (wish he'd kept it there) till Mo'Nique reminds him about Jenna, then suddenly Tom Cruise comes out to play. Poor Cruzie Wuzie, he'll never live down messin' up Oprah's furniture. Mo'Nique handled it beautifully though and told him to GET OFF HER FURNITURE BOY!

I love Mo'Nique!

Love love love love love love (Thanks Miss. Scott)

We're happy for Malik and his beautiful Jenna who I can't seem to get a bad screen shot of! Now that is a model in control of her FACE!

She goes to clean her face and guess who rises up from the grimy depths of hell?

Parker!
Malik sets her thinking straight and tells her to get out of his VIP section coz he's not going to roll like that anymore. The look on her face is murder, but she slinks back into the darkness leaving shivers crawling up our collective spines. yiiiiiiich!

Meanwhile, the Sunbeams are sorting through fan mail where Tasha fondly remembers Steve the Serial Stabber of San Diego with whom Malik has been communicating for five years!

Jigga wha..? In case anybody forgets, the kid who shot Valentino was an obsessed and deranged man. Look y'all, I know some brothers are in there for some 2 oz. shit but I ain't tryin' to get to know anybody with the title "Serial Stabber".

Melanie is not enjoying this experience and wishes she could return to the days when little boys were sending letters from their grandma's kitchen instead of dealing with naked pictures and unwashed panties in a pile (loved the grannie panties! LOL).

Jazz says, of course as Jazz will, that since they take care of they mens with sex toys and threesomes they don't have to worry about silly underwear. Everything's alright Mel, ain't it?

Um...

I give Derwin sex REGULARLY, turned into
I'm a great lover, turned into
I'm a solid lover...

Well, at least Derwin is getting sex regularly. :-/

Feeling insecure about their sex life, Mel decides to have a conversation with her hubby and as he walks into the room he finds a surprise

Mel kicks her out of the room by speaker phone, but not before Derwin does his little "Thanks for the support" plug.

DERWIN!

Mel asks him if he is really tempted by the "half naked limber skankazoid." He is but he only loves Mel. So how about we get on Skype and you can show me your boob? Nah. Mel's not in the mood. She sulks off the phone.

Meanwhile Malik is on his way to his room, ready to talk to Jenna and retire for the night with Family Guy coz he loves talking babies! LOL! Now those are lines! Little does he know, he has a surprise in his room too!

The creature from the bog! Parker wants what Parker wants and what she wants right now is Malik no matter what he wants. He tries to tell her to get out, but she screams RAPE and someone comes running!

We're good in here! He passes her money and off she goes! Well, I guess he just has to face what is coming to him! One whole month of unwaxed dot-dot-dot (her words, not mine!).

Poor guy. He feels violated and so do I. I hope they delve deeper into this stuff because in my definition Malik got raped. It doesn't matter if he liked any of it, he was an unwilling participant. Sigh.

Mel, still feeling insecure about the sex life in her marriage, consults with Jazz.

Jazz promises to help Mel find a third party for their threesome and they go out to the club (that looks like the same one Malik and Jenna were at) to do some prime woman huntin'.

"No not her. She's drinking cranberry juice. Not her either, she's way cuter than you!"

Bored a little bit, Jazz goes off on her own to hunt when...

Althea sits beside her. Vrrrroooom vroooom! After a few ackward "can we please have a threesome" questions, the deal is sealed and a threesome is planned.

I felt gloriously awkward and I loved it!
Oh awkward Mel, where have you been? Heavy laden under all that bedazzling? Come back to us!

Malik gets home to find a celebration waiting for him thanks to Jenna. She offers him the balloons filled with helium or "these balloons." Poor guy, pain is written all over his face. Sometimes I wonder why guys don't just come out with it and say what happened to their women. You might find compassion and understanding and a very crafty solution if you play your cards right. But I understand Malik. Sorry bro.

Across the street Mel is trying out her sexy moves.

Yeah, not quite working out Mel.

LOL! I'm sure this is STRETCHING Mel. Unless you're trying to see what kind of support your handrail has. LOL!

Derwin gets home, and probably fearing that they will have a fire he asks what the candles are for.

Tonight I'm Madame Melanie, slave boy (DISmissed!).
*SLAP*
Just a note, not pizza guy, not milk man, not security guard, not butler? Slave boy? I think she'd have been better suited for a leather catsuit... yeah yeah, we know Tia is expecting her first child boo hoo, no body doubles?

Now disrobe and wait for me!

Derwin likes! He takes off upstairs while Mel prepares his surprise for him. Althea comes into the room and Mel thinks she's looking hot. Mel has to drink, hopefully to deal with what is about to happen. She directs Althea to begin and Derwin likes!

"Someone has been practicing!"

As Althea inches closer to his lips Mel can't take it anymore and

she asks Althea to leave.
"I couldn't do it!"
"It's cool, call me again if you change your mind and here is a reason why you should change your mind."

GASP!

I know, we were quite shocked too Mel apparently Derwin is not the only hottie people are lusting for. Maybe you'll get sent a pair of panties too!

Poor Derwin missed that!!!

With her lesbian cherry popped, Mel returns to Derwin trying to duplicate what she saw Althea doing.

"Is it good Derwin?"
"Yeah, but why don't you do that thing you were doing before?"

*SLAP*

"Mel!"

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. I like awkward non-bedazzled Mel who is as confused as the rest of us about how to do certain things but completely committed to finding out how and allowing ourselves to laugh at our blunders.

Can't wait for next week!!! Is it here yet?!

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0 The Game Recap: Episode 407

"You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello"

Welcome back to the RECAP! I'm glad y'all are here!

Episode 7 (or 8 if you consult wikipedia) starts of with Kelly trying to explain what it was like being Mrs. Pitts and she was using the whiny voice of a spoiled teenager and this face!

In walks Jason talking everyone down and a very embarrassed Brittany. Kelly learns that Jason didn't spend time with BrittBrat and just pawned her off to his parents.

He also tells Kelly she can't use his name anymore, at least not according to the divorce agreement.
"Oh yeah?!"
"Yeah!"
"Well, I was going to change my name to Devereaux anyway."

Okay, who just had a Golden Girls moment just now, huh? (Peace to you Rue McClanahan)

Kelly is stunned and Jason laughs his way out. Is evil Jason back?

Let's go back to rehab, where we last saw Malik.

The session leader is trying to get someone to talk about their dirty heroin needles, when Malik bursts in to share his breakthrough.

The model calls him Mr. Interrupter which doesn't quite phase him. He just wants to know what number between 4 and 20 takes off the addict label. The session leader tells him it is not about the numbers but the reason why he takes the pills.

"I will BEAT yo azz"
"Let's examine that. Do you want to beat my ass because I resemble your father?"

Watch it doc. I'll beat your ass too!
Malik storms out of the session and Ms. Model finds him sulking in the back somewhere. She shares her jelly beans with him which seems to help.

He opens up to her and tells her his disappointment with TeeTee, Mrs. Manager, Jason and Derwin. Later on, she gives him the real dish, just like Tasha used to, by telling him that other people have to move on with their lives.

You can see the "light" turn on for him slowly and feel his discomfort as he allows that information to sink in. What a good actor!

Moved enough to go and make amends, he ends up at TeeTee's wing truck. Good hearted TeeTee. Guess who is back as well!!

"The heart wants what the heart wants!"
Hurrah! TeeTee and Malik are friends again. I guess they can never have the kitchen counselling sessions they  had when they both lived with Tasha - but hope lives eternal!

If you didn't see this coming, Malik and Model lady, then you're about as astute as a drunk man shooting at a moving target. This might actually be good.

Somewhere in the city there is a party for someone who asked that Derwin attend. Tasha is in control and making sure that they get good pictures of Derwin and Mel.

While they get drinks at the free bar (free bar?!) Kelly walks in with her crew to schmooze with some footballers. Tasha and Mel think she's there to apologize and boy-oh-boy are they mistaken!

"Hello Derwin!"

Tasha intervenes and sends Kelly on her way, but not after Kelly makes shots at Mel for having "black women problems" and at Tasha for dating a younger man.
Roll the tape back y'all!!! Black women problems? Could they possibly mean baby momma drama? Um... I don't think WE have the monopoly on that one but okay. We forgive you Kelly, only coz we know you're as lost as a bead weaving needle in an ocean of hay.

The producer of her show tells her that it is not making the cut and that he is ending it. He heads over to the stage to get bootie shots and Kelly gets in front of the cameras.

WHAT?!

Yeah, we're making this face as well! What the...? I guess we shouldn't be too surprised that this was the next level. First the hair, then the clothes and makeup, then common sense. I guess it's not such a big leap.

At first Kelly is appalled, but after hearing that her booty is the #1 hottest booty on the internet (really?) she's okay with it. Jason walks in, acknowledges her new found slutty fame, but it is not the reason why he is here.

He pulls out his iPhone and shows her pictures of BritBrat on the internet with her clothes OFF! He threatens to take Brittany away from her and Kelly tries to shape up. As she prepares for her talk with Brittany we can see she's changed her clothes...

Brit walks in and gets a talking too from her Mom but talks right back. Kelly sends her to her room and realizes that she has completely lost control of her daughter.

She turns to her best friends Tasha and Mel, who at first are a little miffed that she said nasty things to them the last time.

(Writers, this is why we enjoyed the show before. Adult people doing adult things and sometimes behaving a little badly but getting back to the real things of life. Can we get back to it? Please?)

"Oh hell no! Beat her!"
Even though we knew what Tasha was going to say, it sure sounds good when she says it and it is still funny!

They surround their friend with love and tell her what she needs to do. Awww...

She hunts Jason down and has an honest talk with him about having difficulty moving on. He teases her as usual but they have an understanding and he agrees to keep Brittany for a little while so Kelly can go and regroup.

This was a great episode. I see them coming back and getting back into the groove of things. 22 minutes is a short time to cram a lot of story into, but I believe they were successful in making us care again. I'm still a little put off by this Brittany, mostly because she reminds me of Janae. Where is the curly haired pouty kid (Erica Gluck)?

Looking forward to next week!

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