Marriage is dead

Image Credits

I'm killing marriage y'all!

I'd like to have a discussion with you and talk about this antiquated institution we call marriage and why we are failing to allow it to evolve as human beings evolve.

In the not too distant past a man noticed a woman who he felt attracted to. He told his father and/or his mother who then researched the ancestry of the proposed woman and the process of requesting the woman's hand in marriage was initiated.

Often times the woman did not have a choice and once the marriage was sealed she was shipped off to go live with the man and bear his children. In those times men could not change their minds once the process had begun. If, after the marriage had happened, the man could not find enough love or respect in his heart for his wife, then he would either take a mistress or just bear his loveless childless marriage in a martyr-like trance till the day he died, busying himself with his business affairs or sports.

Before that in certain cultures, men would take multiples wives - who would just be happy to be married - bearing many children for the homestead to increase the wealth of the family and increase their workforce for the farm.

Image Credits

However, something changed. Suddenly it became important for two people who decided to enter into a marriage contract to be IN LOVE. The vows that they spoke in front of a religious leader and their families were proclamations of love. Even if love faded, they were expected to carry out the marriage to the bitter end.

Then something else changed and now people join in marriage and remove themselves from situations with regular alacrity, either rejoicing in their newfound freedom or regretting the years they spent believing that their marriage was going to last.

This leaves a great number of children stuck with the idea that their family has been torn apart, they're being raised in broken homes, perpetuating the myth that children raised in single parent (or other forms) homes are at a disadvantage right off the bat.

We still cling to the old notions of marriage and raising children. One man, one woman and a couple (or hoarde) of kids make a family. No other person is responsible for teaching the child, providing moments of discipline, creating teaching moments or rejoicing with them. But with the divorce rate so high and the varying options available to us now, isn't it time we started thinking differently?

Our indignation and frustration with ever rising numbers of "single parent homes" is not in line with the freedom we have given adults to find their way to happiness. Our adherence to parenting being limited to biological parents or step-parents limits the possibility that a child can learn valuable lessons from a neighbor, aunt or teacher.

Image Credit

The perfect home paradigm - one man, one woman, united in marriage till death, arising in children belonging to both of them - needs to be abandoned. I believe that it is time for us to allow marriage to be something else, temporary contracts between consenting adults who, if they choose to raise children, will engage in partnerships (outlined in the previously mentioned contract) that will allow children to become positively contributing members in society.

There are many options available. Co-parenting options, divorce and custody agreements, unusual marriage contracts. I'm sure we can come up with unlimited numbers.

Something to think about: I have never met a single person, who having had the advantage of multiple parental figures (whether they be biological or otherwise) existing in a cordial environment, found that to be detrimental to their lives.

Do you think we can change our minds about marriage?