0 Ignore Trump

If there is something the media is oblivious to (or else a diabolical partner of) it is diversionary tactics.

Remember in all the movies of a hapless group of youngsters needing to accomplish a goal, but because someone is watching they need one of them to cause a distraction?

Yeah. That is Mr. Trump - but quite opposite from the cute and cuddly creatures of Monsters Inc.

So as he flails and bounces up and down trying to get your attention, allow yourself to focus on something else. Something that matters like exercising with Mrs. Obama and Beyonce or weeping with the rest of us over Jawn Murray leaving Black Voices.

I personally found him a bore and stopped watching The Apprentice after black contestants got lambasted for things other contestants did regularly. None of the challenges were interesting enough and the characters became caricatures of whatever he thought they ought to be. Yuck.

Anywhoo, if you feel so inclined, you can boycott enterprises to send him a message to lay off the whole Birther thing. If he can't come up with anything more creative he's FIRED!

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0 The Game Recap: Episode 409

"Whip It, Whip It Good"

Hooray! We're back for another recap of EVERYONES favorite show (even the ones who don't yet know that it is their fave show of all time :-) ).

The show starts off with Jason and Malik out to lunch at everyone's favorite outdoor restaurant. Malik asks Jason how Brittany is doing and with the awkwardness of most men, when faced with women-issue words, explains that she's home from school coz she has .....

wierd hand gesture...
"Her period?" Malik says it out loud knowing it would embarrass Jason. Say it Jason! Say it!!!!

Malik shows Jason something that surprises no one but him.

Oh SNAP! Like Malik we all follow Jason to the table to watch a BEAT DOWN! Give it to her Jason!!!

Turns out the only thing Jason is concerned about is whether she ordered the house flat. She lies, but he is satisfied. Again, like Malik, we're not!

Oooooooooo!

A little later on, we find Mel, cutting up a storm in her kitchen veggies flying every which way and Tasha staying respectfully out of reach. I thought in the earlier seasons there was the suggestion that Mel could not cook... maybe it was because of med school or maybe she now had time to learn from Wolfgang Puck BUT I'm still not instilled with much hope.

Tasha, whose itchy weave is giving her a difficult time, probably walked over from her house to kill a few minutes while her hairdresser got there.

A knock on the door reveals Jason, the Brat and the guest star of the episode, Magic Johnson!

Towering above Melanie (he looks twice her height!) he proceeds to a generously offered bowl of grapes and plomps on the couch.

Jason is here to pawn Brittany off on Mel so he can go enjoy golf with Magic J and Tiger (yeah, not Woods apparently). Mel can't do it. Her parents will be there soon and with a complicated series of hand gestures tells Jason to ask Tasha.

We all know how good this is going to be. They never really got along.

Tasha milks it for all she is worth, celebrating when she sees "lemon head's" distress.

Lil' fast girl (thanks Magic) gives Tasha some sass, which backfires and Tasha takes Brittany home with her.

Over at Tasha's house the "training" starts with a few bumps in the road, but after Tasha's hair is done, it seems that Brittany is quite contrite and behaving properly.

Yeah, right! I cannot believe I actually was buying her whole reformed story. Turns out she's got sticky fingers too. She took Tasha's prescription weed and threw Tasha into a switch wielding frenzy. Brittany hides out in the bathroom and Jason comes to rescue his daughter. He calls Tasha irresponsible, defends Brittany and whisks her home.

At home, Jason tries to talk to Brittany, who is too busy to listen and texting on her phone. She's in a huge rush to get out of the house when Jason does something I know I wasn't expecting.

Let go of my purse!

Yeah! Lil' fast girl is in trouble now! You'd think she would be contrite but when she acts a fool, Jason throws her skanky clothes to ground and quits his job so he can strap her to his side. Her second miscalculation of the day!

Back at the Davis household, Mel is throwing herself into a tizzy excited about her parents arrival. Aren't you excited Derwin?!

Yeah, I thought so.

Melanie's parents arrive and they have FLIPPED the script so much that Derwin is totally thrown off track. But he settles very nicely into the evening with his in-laws fawning over him and all his moolah. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be as interested in Mel's life. When her dad stands up to do the Derwin dance (have we seen it?) Mel erupts and goes upstairs.

Well that was awkward.

She comes down later to talk to her mom and explain her reason for not pursuing medicine. I believe in my man (tear tear, sniff sniff). Somehow the small phrase "our family" gets misinterpreted by her mom, who thinks Mel is pregnant and spreads the good news to dad and a very confused Derwin.

What?!

 Don't you dare take this away from me DERwin! Ummmm... we're backing off too!

Now all would be said and done, but you know it's not quite over. Malik is watching his maid bowl promising to bring all her kids from Guatemala when suddenly in walks Tasha. Wait! What is that in her hand?

What's that for?

Aw, hell no!

 Run Malik! RUN!

Well, she did say someone was going to get the switch today!

Fun episode. It was great to see Jason stepping up as a dad. No matter what his shortcomings may be, this show of fatherly force is something every girl with a dad in her life appreciates! It is always good to see Derwin interact with Mel's parents, although the desperate-housewife-of-San-Diego thing Mel is doing is such a downer. Bligh.

The last scene was BRILLIANT and summed up my feelings of the episode.

Pass this around! Tell me what you thought of it!

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0 The Game Recap: Episode 408

A Very Special Episode

Welcome back fans! Wooo! What an episode!

We start off at the Mo'Nique show where Malik is being interviewed. He is quite emotional in the beginning, issuing apologies to the popo who tazed him.

He's repentant (for real we hope) and almost in tears (wish he'd kept it there) till Mo'Nique reminds him about Jenna, then suddenly Tom Cruise comes out to play. Poor Cruzie Wuzie, he'll never live down messin' up Oprah's furniture. Mo'Nique handled it beautifully though and told him to GET OFF HER FURNITURE BOY!

I love Mo'Nique!

Love love love love love love (Thanks Miss. Scott)

We're happy for Malik and his beautiful Jenna who I can't seem to get a bad screen shot of! Now that is a model in control of her FACE!

She goes to clean her face and guess who rises up from the grimy depths of hell?

Parker!
Malik sets her thinking straight and tells her to get out of his VIP section coz he's not going to roll like that anymore. The look on her face is murder, but she slinks back into the darkness leaving shivers crawling up our collective spines. yiiiiiiich!

Meanwhile, the Sunbeams are sorting through fan mail where Tasha fondly remembers Steve the Serial Stabber of San Diego with whom Malik has been communicating for five years!

Jigga wha..? In case anybody forgets, the kid who shot Valentino was an obsessed and deranged man. Look y'all, I know some brothers are in there for some 2 oz. shit but I ain't tryin' to get to know anybody with the title "Serial Stabber".

Melanie is not enjoying this experience and wishes she could return to the days when little boys were sending letters from their grandma's kitchen instead of dealing with naked pictures and unwashed panties in a pile (loved the grannie panties! LOL).

Jazz says, of course as Jazz will, that since they take care of they mens with sex toys and threesomes they don't have to worry about silly underwear. Everything's alright Mel, ain't it?

Um...

I give Derwin sex REGULARLY, turned into
I'm a great lover, turned into
I'm a solid lover...

Well, at least Derwin is getting sex regularly. :-/

Feeling insecure about their sex life, Mel decides to have a conversation with her hubby and as he walks into the room he finds a surprise

Mel kicks her out of the room by speaker phone, but not before Derwin does his little "Thanks for the support" plug.

DERWIN!

Mel asks him if he is really tempted by the "half naked limber skankazoid." He is but he only loves Mel. So how about we get on Skype and you can show me your boob? Nah. Mel's not in the mood. She sulks off the phone.

Meanwhile Malik is on his way to his room, ready to talk to Jenna and retire for the night with Family Guy coz he loves talking babies! LOL! Now those are lines! Little does he know, he has a surprise in his room too!

The creature from the bog! Parker wants what Parker wants and what she wants right now is Malik no matter what he wants. He tries to tell her to get out, but she screams RAPE and someone comes running!

We're good in here! He passes her money and off she goes! Well, I guess he just has to face what is coming to him! One whole month of unwaxed dot-dot-dot (her words, not mine!).

Poor guy. He feels violated and so do I. I hope they delve deeper into this stuff because in my definition Malik got raped. It doesn't matter if he liked any of it, he was an unwilling participant. Sigh.

Mel, still feeling insecure about the sex life in her marriage, consults with Jazz.

Jazz promises to help Mel find a third party for their threesome and they go out to the club (that looks like the same one Malik and Jenna were at) to do some prime woman huntin'.

"No not her. She's drinking cranberry juice. Not her either, she's way cuter than you!"

Bored a little bit, Jazz goes off on her own to hunt when...

Althea sits beside her. Vrrrroooom vroooom! After a few ackward "can we please have a threesome" questions, the deal is sealed and a threesome is planned.

I felt gloriously awkward and I loved it!
Oh awkward Mel, where have you been? Heavy laden under all that bedazzling? Come back to us!

Malik gets home to find a celebration waiting for him thanks to Jenna. She offers him the balloons filled with helium or "these balloons." Poor guy, pain is written all over his face. Sometimes I wonder why guys don't just come out with it and say what happened to their women. You might find compassion and understanding and a very crafty solution if you play your cards right. But I understand Malik. Sorry bro.

Across the street Mel is trying out her sexy moves.

Yeah, not quite working out Mel.

LOL! I'm sure this is STRETCHING Mel. Unless you're trying to see what kind of support your handrail has. LOL!

Derwin gets home, and probably fearing that they will have a fire he asks what the candles are for.

Tonight I'm Madame Melanie, slave boy (DISmissed!).
*SLAP*
Just a note, not pizza guy, not milk man, not security guard, not butler? Slave boy? I think she'd have been better suited for a leather catsuit... yeah yeah, we know Tia is expecting her first child boo hoo, no body doubles?

Now disrobe and wait for me!

Derwin likes! He takes off upstairs while Mel prepares his surprise for him. Althea comes into the room and Mel thinks she's looking hot. Mel has to drink, hopefully to deal with what is about to happen. She directs Althea to begin and Derwin likes!

"Someone has been practicing!"

As Althea inches closer to his lips Mel can't take it anymore and

she asks Althea to leave.
"I couldn't do it!"
"It's cool, call me again if you change your mind and here is a reason why you should change your mind."

GASP!

I know, we were quite shocked too Mel apparently Derwin is not the only hottie people are lusting for. Maybe you'll get sent a pair of panties too!

Poor Derwin missed that!!!

With her lesbian cherry popped, Mel returns to Derwin trying to duplicate what she saw Althea doing.

"Is it good Derwin?"
"Yeah, but why don't you do that thing you were doing before?"

*SLAP*

"Mel!"

I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. I like awkward non-bedazzled Mel who is as confused as the rest of us about how to do certain things but completely committed to finding out how and allowing ourselves to laugh at our blunders.

Can't wait for next week!!! Is it here yet?!

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