It is impossible to express with meager words what excitement rose in me when I heard that BET picked up The Game! Like the other 7.7 million viewers I cancelled all my appointments for the night (including a long standing date with a friend) cleared the house of humans and pets, popped some corn and sat in front of the TV to find out where the story was going to go next.
Now that Mel and Derwin were married would they finally settle down into the lives they dreamt they'd live? Would she be working tirelessly in some office downtown San Diego? What about Jason and Kelly? I smelled the whiff of reconciliation and want their dysfunction back! Rick (left hand gesture) Fox (right hand gesture) and the vivacious straight talkin' Tasha we all wish was our bosom buddy... What about Malik and his very slow journey to enlightenment, literally being dragged there by his light-years-ahead Tee-Tee? We felt their vulnerability for three seasons and ached when they did, laughed with or at them and cuddled our significant others when we saw how they appreciated one another.
So picture me all gussied up, waiting for the moment... and shrieking (ever so silently, there is a no noise clause in my lease) when the show came on with "TWO YEARS LATER"...
We're started off with Derwin, who by some miraculous means has surpassed Malik's fame and become the Sabers most famous player. He's workin' the cameras and we missed all the hard work it took to get him to this point. He's confident, self assured and still dorky - which passes as cool two years later (roll eyes but lovin' it).
Tasha is in the middle of it all, his sassy manager, still getting confused about where her loyalties lie. Derwin's baby-momma (eewwww) drops off lil' AJ at the Ebony photo shoot and a glamorous Melanie who seems very friendly greets the happy threesome. Tasha reminds her that she WON, till that mental dance thingy Mel does makes her crash right back to ZERO!
Now it's Jason's turn. The a$$hole is on a sports show and Kelly, who suddenly and violently returns to her trashy roots, is doing everything in her power to remind him that she's an up and coming reality star (an ode to the Housewives franchise no doubt), which is really disappointing to see. I liked Kelly. I like Jason too.
We're introduced to Tasha's new love, a significantly younger basketball player and we're diggin' the vibe! He did open his towel to show Tasha something, something which if the cameraman was doing his job, we would have enjoyed too. :-)
Mel, paranoid as ever (will the girl ever give the thing a rest?!) determines that now is the time to test little AJ and find out whether he is Derwin's or not. Did this question not come up before? Once she gets the results she agonizes over telling Derwin that she tested AJ (which in my book is not something that bad - what is worse is not knowing the truth!).
Because Tasha and Kelly are still fighting, Mel's crisis gets knocked out from top issue to non issue. Let's move along too. Yawn.
A much skinnier Malik (where is our teddy bear!) is still rolling around between legs that are way too easy to open. Except now he's schtupping the boss' wife! We're informed that he isn't quite all that anymore and he'd be sorer about it, but when you've had your ____ tickled, it is kinda hard to be mad at someone.
A short visit to TeeTee's Chicken wing bus reveals three things. Malik is more careless (what is with trolling around with the boss' slutty wife in broad daylight!), TeeTee has a chicken bus and a girlfriend, some of Malik's attitude is intact (thank you Jesus!). TeeTee reminds him he isn't his assistant anymore and he needs to hire one.
It doesn't really matter to Malik coz guess who comes to the rescue when the bathroom broke under the strain of a little bathroom sex, which is a reminder to check the strength of the counter before you engage. Later when Malik does Malik and demands that TeeTee abandon his date and take him home, TeeTee stands his ground, but Malik plans the perfect revenge!
Oooops! Who thought she was so flaky? Who thought the boss' wife would have been okay with a threesome? She doesn't seem the type. Hurt for TeeTee, bored with the rest. Let's move on.
The Pitts, in the throes of the nasty aftermath of a divorce fraught with bad feelings... I wonder if that is what destroyed Kelly's sense of style and threw her back into the 80s (Madonna wants her clothes back!). And what's with the new BrittBrat? I guess she nailed the sullen part coz boy oh boy OH BOY! The bitchiness is at an all time high, Kelly taunting him with all the spending she has done and is planning to do while Jason asks her to keep him out of her trashy show. He shows up to brunch with her tacky group of fair weather friends, eye candy on his arm and demolishes her outing. Awwww (insert pretty pout here).
The episode ends with Mel talking to a friend who did the DNA test. It was botched. AJ is Derwin's son. Y'all didn't see that one coming, did ya? Yawn. Why oh why did they reduce the high achieving neurotic and dorky protagonist too a played out character from Housewives of Atlanta?
Full of cliches and tired plots portrayed in every black movie/show/newspaper article, this episode did not do it for me. I miss the characters. Maybe there was too much to cram in on single episode - I honestly don't think it was that important to fast forward 2 years, but we'll wait and see what episode 2 has for us.
Until next Wednesday, I bid you a fond adieu!
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