"Didn't You Know Who I Was?"
Welcome back me mateys!!! I guess saying that with an Irish accent is not really the way to go with this intro to a series about black people (no matter what they say about black Irish), but I figured I hadn't used it before so why not now!
Back to the show (and less of me if I can help it!).
Malik in rehab. Now you knew how this was going to go down, even with the look of remorse he tried to pander, we know he's just saving his job. He's clearly not enjoying this so he acts like a teenager whose XBox was taken away.
JERK! She looks MAD and NAKED in this picture. Must be the bootie shorts. Glad this isn't rehab for sex addicts.
The group session leader calls him out on his bad behavior. Wait, isn't this stereotyping? The soft spoken benevolent doctor of Indian heritage... I know there is a punchline in here somewhere.
Back to the
Mel is still in her high chair trying to get attention for the meeting. "Ladies, let's talk about... "
[Interrupting black woman]
Since effing when did Tasha air out all her business to these women she originally considered beneath her? Since when? Okay, I guess we all change and grow, forget how to include people (Rick Fox) into the episode without making a proud black woman make a fool of herself.
You'd think they'd get back to the meeting, and so would I, except look at Mel's face!!
Did Derwin just walk in wearing a fabulous gown, some hoop earrings and high heels? GASP! Could it be Janae? What the ....
Oh. Just Ms. Trashy Desperado coming to say something... Kelly was an airhead. But a fresh faced airhead who provided a fabulous contrast to Tasha. Now both characters are falling flat. Tasha got her man business in errbody's dranks and Kelly...
... who decides to stay for the Sunbeam meeting, has turned into this!
The Really Desperate Housewives of San Diego with Trash Roots (which is the REAL name of the Housewives franchise - just in case you didn't know).
Leaving the Sunbeams with their Hats for Hobos (really?), let's get back to Malik.
We knew he couldn't leave well enough alone. Now homegirl over here knows exactly what she's about. Wasn't her thigh all out? Now her shirt is barely clinging to her thin frame and now we know she ain't got no bra on. Malik saw it too and he's up for a little "Malik Time."
She's not havin' it, and with his weak a$$ game we ain't eithah! She takes off and SWOOP
here comes the soft spoken doctor of Indian descent to talk to Malik. He didn't get none and frustrated at the lack of anything fun around here, possibly also jitters coz he doesn't have alcohol coursing through his veins, he leaves rehab. "We'll be here for you Malik! The door is always open!"
Meanwhile, on the other side of town,
Dante's behind is making its acting debut and Cecilia is all up on that!! Until she's caught
She doesn't even seem sorry. Isn't this the person who smiled and laughed when Malik got arrested? Fire her Tasha!
This is for the Sunbeams?! Gee. Yeah Dante! You know how I do!
Huh?! Didn't see this one coming. I guess that was the reason for botching up the introduction of Rick Fox at the beginning of the episode.
So when Dante arrives we kinda get the whole "$h!t" and boy oh boy does he look mad. Calls her out for wearing her little peek-a-boo dress. You have issues Tasha!
Look here Dante. I wanted closure.
Closure my a$$, now I'm taking mine outta here!
What?! Not that gorgeous bootie! Can I pinch it one more time at least?
Dante shakes his head and leaves. He's not coming back. Poor Tasha. Poor Dante. Will they ever find love?
The Sunbeams have rented a VIP room for girls' night out. They seem to be having a little fun
holding their drinks, boring hair, boobs out, till Trashalina comes along!
I bet she pulled this one out of the trunk of costumes that she and Jason used to use! Kelly comes into the room and all the other Sunbeams leave coz they don't want to be on TV (yeah... riiiiiiiiiiight).
Mel has to tell her, point blank, that she is unwelcome at the Sunbeams events because she is no longer a Sunbeam. Sigh.
In another part of the club (or maybe a different club, we never know) Malik is back home enjoying the things he'd been deprived of.
Women, alcohol and some pills he takes from a prescription bottle.
In walk Jason and Derwin and Malik takes this opportunity to confront them for not being the kind of friends who stick by your side.
I know you're not talking about me Malik! Yeah, Malik!
He's too far gone and picks a fight with them.
He goes after Jason first, then Derwin and aims for Derwin's jaw when something happens...
Did he faint?
He passed out! Jason, who never passed up an opportunity to make some money takes a picture.
That's not cool Jason! Tell him Derwin. Tell him he's being an ass.
You're being an...
Oh SNAP! Where did that come from? Malik climbs Derwin's back.
Jason finally separates them and tells Malik he MUST go back to rehab or he can kiss his career goodbye.
Hell NO!
He runs and hides in the only place that is safe, the stall. That part was hilarious. A grown man hiding in a stall... tee hee!
Come out Malik!
NO!
Dude, I ain't got time for this nonsense. I'm going to go post that picture on the internet while you flush your career. (Pick up your face Derwin). We'll take you.
Alright.
Then in an amazing show of friendship and kindness Jason and Derwin take Malik back to rehab. This is the kind of stuff that warms the heart.
We'll see you later dude.
This episode was full of highs and lows and unexpected funny parts. I'm still upset that Tasha can't seem to find someone. I wish they'd tackle that a little more, show her background. She is one of the stronger characters on the show. I don't like that Mel has morphed into a weird version of Kelly and that Jason is just kept for punch lines.
I liked the end. A properly contrite Malik getting back to rehab with the help of good friends (Yes Derwin) and moving forward.
Let's see what happens next week!
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